subsystem | voice ||

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voice ||

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh-huh.

Hey, hold your communicator up to your ear, sweetheart, would you?

[ Uh...huh. ]

Yeah. All right. Shall I turn up the volume, too, while I'm at it?

Yeah, you better do that. Nice and loud.

Done?

[ You know that tone that teenagers get sometimes? That sort of tone that they've developed to try to convey to you, a person of adult age, that you are terminally uncool? The tone used on people who have opinions about loitering or tattoos or fake IDs? ]

Oh, yeah, definitely. I've actually hooked it up to some speakers and pressed those up against my ears. So I'm probably just about ready.

[don't use that tone on him young lady you haven't earned the right to use that tone on him]

Oh, yeah? Okay, lady, then you can do me an even bigger favor. Take those speakers away from your ears and shove 'em.

Stop wasting my time.

Edited (excess of .) 2015-05-11 19:14 (UTC)

[ She sniffs. ]

There's nothing time-wasting about pointing out that kindness itself can actually carry some material rewards sometimes, is there.

There. Right there. You just wasted your own time. Know why? 'Cause I stopped listening. 'Cause it's not true.

And you're, what? A voice of experience, then? Have you handed out a lot of charity?

No. 'Cause I never been a sucker.

Okay, but that means that you can't know whether or not it's true, can you?

Edited 2015-05-11 22:28 (UTC)

No, I totally know it's true. Just 'cause I ain't a sucker doesn't mean I ain't ever seen one. It's like the whole galaxy is a cautionary friggin' tale, keepin' me from giving up my perfectly good services for free.

Oh, right, I see. So all around you, people are constantly showing charity to others, and then dropping dead of their own stupidity. Is that it?

I'm starting not to like you.

Well, I don't like people who act like decency and stupidity are the same thing. Be self-serving if you want, but don't shame other people for being sweet.

Oh my god, are you listening to yourself? Being sweet?

I changed my mind. I think I just feel bad for you.

[ A cluck of annoyance. ]

Yes, being sweet. Helping out other people is basically the definition of being sweet.

Okay, so come over and clean my place.

[ Another teenagery cluck. ]

I never said I was sweet, did I. I'm just saying that you ought to appreciate it in others.

Edited 2015-05-13 15:25 (UTC)

Hey, listen, lady, I'll appreciate it in others the day it starts payin' off for me. Until then? Forget about it.

[ Irritating. She honestly half-considers going over and cleaning for him, just to prove a point, before she comes to her senses. Ugh. ]

Stop calling me lady. It's Lizzie.

Lady, Lizzie-- doesn't matter. I still meant what I said. And I don't see you jumpin' to arguate that one, just your name, so I'm thinkin', you ain't got nothin' else to say.

Do you.

[ Oh - damn it - ]

Yeah. I do.

[Loudly, in the sort of way that implies he's holding his device away from him so he can yell into it:]

Well, I'm done listenin'.

Yeah, probably because you know you haven't got any good arguments!

Ohh, you are wrong! You are so wrong! I got plentya arguments! I am practically made of arguments! I could argue with you all day! Just 'cause I got better things to do don't mean I couldn't, 'cause, lady--trust me--I could.