voice ||

[rrrrangerrick]

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Comments

voice

[rathercommon]

And here I thought trust was for suckers.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

What? No. I said charity. Charity is for suckers.

voice

[rathercommon]

So trust isn't. Trust is okay.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

Yeah, sure. Trust is great. You can trust me when I tell you that you're a frickin moron.

Are you kiddin' me, with this? Why're you wastin' my time?

voice

[rathercommon]

[ She cuts in somewhere before my time, just to prove how cool she is by talking over him and just generally being too clever to even need to listen to what he has to say. Or...something. ]

So who's earned your trust, then? The guy who said he got told you were a program?

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

[okay, wait, what]

Wh-- Quill?

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

[And then just loud laughter, because, what]

No!

voice

[rathercommon]

[ What - So much for Kitty's smugness. She'd really thought - ]

So you don't trust him. Because he called you a friend.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

[Having since recovered from his loud hysterical laughter, Rocket is together enough to answer coherently:]

No, I don't trust him, 'cause we are friends.

voice

[rathercommon]

That doesn't make any sense.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

Sure it does. It means I know him good enough not to trust his dumb ass.

voice

[rathercommon]

But...that's ridiculous. All a friendship is is a relationship between two people where they trust one another.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

That's real cute.

Or, if you put down your storybook and get a friggin clue, it's a relationship where you know just what to expect outta the other person. In this case, Peter frickin' Quill. That on its own says enough.

voice

[rathercommon]

[ Ugh, you are TOO MUCH. ]

Oh, yeah? And what do you expect out of him?

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

[THAT'S RIGHT TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE /GUITAR RIFF]

You don't wanna know.

voice

[rathercommon]

Actually, I do. Hence the asking. Usually when people ask questions, they want to know the answer.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

Oh, yeah, you're right. Sorry. What I was meanin' to say, was: I don't wanna tell you.

voice

[rathercommon]

Too embarrassed?

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

What? No.

voice

[rathercommon]

You oughtn't be embarrassed.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

That's good. 'Cause I ain't embarrassed. Which is why I just said no, when you asked if I was embarrassed.

You got hearing problems? What is it, huh? Stood too close to too many engines? Crammed some crap in your ears 'cause you were bored?

voice

[rathercommon]

Because I'm sure you two have got an absolutely lovely friendship. I'm sure there's real emotional intimacy between you.

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

With Quill?

Lady. Of all the list of things I got with Quill? The word 'intimacy' don't ever, and ain't ever gonna, enter into it. Like I think I'm gonna puke just from you sayin' those words. 'Inti--' Ugh. You owe me.

voice

[rathercommon]

Are you honest with him?

voice

[rrrrangerrick]

Okay, did you just miss the part where I said 'you owe me' or are you willingfully ignorin' that one.