[ Kitty's voice is cheerful, girlish, and energetic. She hasn't been around lately: the effects of getting out the warning about the invasion of Olympus had intense physical effects on her, and a long period of unconsciousness has been followed by a period of working hard to recover from that physical weakness. So this post's chipperness is partially motivated by the fact that Kitty's persona/alias Lizzie is just a chipper person, and it's partially motivated by the fact that Kitty wants to prove to herself that she's recovered and in good health and spirits. So...Honestly, that energy is frankly bordering on manic. ]

Hullo, Zion! Or at least the network-users of Zion. It's Lizzie again.

A few things. The first of these things, I think, is going to make some of you quite happy. I expect a lot of you remember the restaurant I work at - Cafe Modak - it's the one with the best food in the whole city, so you might have heard of it. If you pay attention to those sorts of things. Anyway, Chef and Mrs Dutt - that's our owner - are putting together a little celebration dinner, for the people who helped defend Olympus. And also when I say little celebration dinner, I actually mean that it's going to basically be a feast. Everyone's invited, but people who helped out get to eat free. So if you've got any dishes to request, just request them here, and I'll pass it along to the two of them.

Anyway, the second thing is that we really don't all know each other so well, do we? I mean, we do all use this, but I hardly know any of your names. Or anything about you. So we ought to play one of those silly games like they make you do, to get comfortable with the people around you. So...How about we play a few rounds of two truths and a lie? If you all know that game. Or you could do a little introduction speech. Or just talk about your favorite sims, if you do sims.

[ Translation: let me pick your brains and figure out what sorts of people you are. ]

[ It's late, and Anders is up on the surface, face lit occasionally by the rolling crackle of the sky. But he's not thinking about this strange place called Earth, his eyes distant. ]

Has anyone else met someone they... knew in their Matrix, but who was extracted from a different Matrix?

[ He's fumbling with the question, not sure how to ask what he wants to ask and not daring to voice what underlies it. ]

There are other versions of us still living their lives. It feels like I'm ...

[ A pause, and he decides not to follow up with whatever point he was planning, sighs instead, switches the feed off and tries to work out if there's some way to delete the recording from the network. ]

[ The recording is short, the quality decent, not wobbly and handheld, at least. Kate appears from the shoulders up and lifts a hand into the frame in a brief wave. There's a quick glimpse of a dark tattoo on the inside of her wrist. ]

Hi. I'm Kate Bishop, and after all that weird crap at Olympus I assume I'm not the only one looking to get in a little more simulation time to get back on the horse or brush up some skills. I've helped people train in the past in a few different areas, and I'd like to offer that again if anyone is interested. I've got fairly wide experience as an operative, and a pretty broad aptitude set. Except for technical stuff. I'm no good at that, but that just means if you are, I'd take some training in that as trade.

Anyway, I'm attaching a list of some stuff I've offered in the past, but I'm also open to ideas if there's something in particular you're looking to work on. Let me know the skills you're interested in, or the type of matrix you'd like to experience, whatever your parameters are, and we can work something out. We can mash a few of the usual options together, or make up something totally different.

Any skill level is welcome, I'm just as happy to work with people who were unplugged yesterday as people who're vets and just want to stretch out or knock some rust off. If you're training to try to get onto a crew, or just want to poke around and try out some new things, that's cool too, seriousness levels are also flexible. Oh, and payment, that's flexible too. My favorites are coffee and trading skills for skills, but we can always work something out as long as you're honest. Respond here or message me privately if you're interested or have questions.

[ The video cuts here, and a text file is attached. ]

BASIC MATRIX SKILLS:

Jump Test Prep

So You Just Passed Your Jump Test, Now What?

Agent Identification

MATRIX COMBAT:

Old Timey

Modern Timey

Future Timey

VEHICLES:

Flying Things

Boats

Other

ANOMALOUS SKILLS/OTHER:

Intro to Magic

Non-Human Forms

( ooc: related log post is here, feel free to tag both or just one, anything's fine with me. IC questions about what the options mean/what sort of matrixes they're in more than welcome! )

[ This is a video that features no people: instead, what's filling the screen is artfully-arranged sweets. Lots and lots of sweets. The dragon boat races were a grand success for the restaurant Kitty works for, and so they were contracted to cater a party in exchange for work from a construction firm for an expansion of their floor space. What you're seeing is the catering before it goes out. And Kitty, whose voice is cheerful and bright and rather thickly London-accented, narrates: ]

Some of you stopped by our booth at the race the other day, so you already know, but this is what we've got to offer at Restaurant Modak. And believe me - all of this looks pretty, but that doesn't even compare to how it tastes. Forget going into a simulation or a Matrix to get the absolute height of a dining experience. This food surpasses anything you'll find out there - and it's got the added advantage of being really, absolutely real.

[ Another pass over the food. She continues. ]

Some of you might be thinking that you haven't got what you need to trade for food of this quality. How could you possibly? Well - you'll be really glad of this next bit. Our going rates are beyond reasonable. We'll even give a good meal for nothing more than a vase of flowers, a bit of sugar - or even just you helping with the washing up. Right here, on the network, you can tell me what you've got for barter and I'll tell you just what sort of meal that'll get you.

[ And then the video switches off, like a cruel tease. ]

Remember: Restaurant Modak. Reasonable prices, food so good you won't even believe it's real. All on layer forty-four.

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]