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voice ||

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay, but that means that you can't know whether or not it's true, can you?

Edited 2015-05-11 22:28 (UTC)

No, I totally know it's true. Just 'cause I ain't a sucker doesn't mean I ain't ever seen one. It's like the whole galaxy is a cautionary friggin' tale, keepin' me from giving up my perfectly good services for free.

Oh, right, I see. So all around you, people are constantly showing charity to others, and then dropping dead of their own stupidity. Is that it?

I'm starting not to like you.

Well, I don't like people who act like decency and stupidity are the same thing. Be self-serving if you want, but don't shame other people for being sweet.

Oh my god, are you listening to yourself? Being sweet?

I changed my mind. I think I just feel bad for you.

[ A cluck of annoyance. ]

Yes, being sweet. Helping out other people is basically the definition of being sweet.

Okay, so come over and clean my place.

[ Another teenagery cluck. ]

I never said I was sweet, did I. I'm just saying that you ought to appreciate it in others.

Edited 2015-05-13 15:25 (UTC)

Hey, listen, lady, I'll appreciate it in others the day it starts payin' off for me. Until then? Forget about it.

[ Irritating. She honestly half-considers going over and cleaning for him, just to prove a point, before she comes to her senses. Ugh. ]

Stop calling me lady. It's Lizzie.

Lady, Lizzie-- doesn't matter. I still meant what I said. And I don't see you jumpin' to arguate that one, just your name, so I'm thinkin', you ain't got nothin' else to say.

Do you.

[ Oh - damn it - ]

Yeah. I do.

[Loudly, in the sort of way that implies he's holding his device away from him so he can yell into it:]

Well, I'm done listenin'.

Yeah, probably because you know you haven't got any good arguments!

Ohh, you are wrong! You are so wrong! I got plentya arguments! I am practically made of arguments! I could argue with you all day! Just 'cause I got better things to do don't mean I couldn't, 'cause, lady--trust me--I could.

Trust you.

Trust me.

[with a little extra growl. not raccoonish at all, just angry.]

And here I thought trust was for suckers.

What? No. I said charity. Charity is for suckers.

So trust isn't. Trust is okay.

Yeah, sure. Trust is great. You can trust me when I tell you that you're a frickin moron.

Are you kiddin' me, with this? Why're you wastin' my time?

[ She cuts in somewhere before my time, just to prove how cool she is by talking over him and just generally being too clever to even need to listen to what he has to say. Or...something. ]

So who's earned your trust, then? The guy who said he got told you were a program?

[okay, wait, what]

Wh-- Quill?

[And then just loud laughter, because, what]

No!