voice ||

[rrrrangerrick]

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Comments

audio; shows up a week late

[hacker]

[ wow son. dryly and indirectly critical, Skye blurts out her assessment: ] In case anyone thought the bleak post-apocalypse would build character or bring out the gentler parts of human nature via commiseration, we have exhibit A. Proving it wildly and naively optimistic.

audio; perfect timing tbh

[rrrrangerrick]

[Sharply:] Hey hey hey hey. I'm not anyone's exhibit anything, lady.

[check your life-as-a-non-experiment-privilege yo except... 1) that chapter of his life wasn't really real so is he allowed to get offended over it anymore, and, 2) they were all sort of someone's experiments, weren't they.

so. yeah.]

And I got plentya character. You wanna know how I describe my character? Not wanting to get friggin' cheated outta everything I got.

audio;

[hacker]

Or, more concisely put, mistrustful and paranoid.

[ She's ideologically like a half-step shy of full-stop socialist, in her defense. ]

We're all in the same boat here. Or ... Not literally the same boat. [ It's an awkward correction, but she pulls through it. ] But we need to help each other. Not act all suspicious and cagey and assume the worst.

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

[god, he hates Zion.]

What's your solution? Just give everything away? Don't ask nothin' outta anyone, just let 'em suck me dry and take everything I got and thank 'em for it after? When I earned all that? You think that's gonna help?

I'm assuming the worst 'cause these jackasses are the worst.

audio;

[hacker]

The worst? Everyone here wants the same thing: to survive. If we'd help each other do that instead of trying to make a buck, we might just manage it.

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

What the hell's a buck?

audio;

[hacker]

... A dollar. It's — money. We're really missing the point here.

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

No we ain't. 'Cause what if a buck was like-- I don't know like a craft, a little sweater, or something. Food. Something I don't care so much about, on accounta it don't really matter. But if it's money?

Then I care. A lot. You know why? 'Cause money's how you survive.

audio;

[hacker]

No. It's not. It's other people. You know, like whatever people pulled you out of the Matrix? Money didn't bring you out into the Real. [ Honestly she just assumes everyone on the subnet is unplugged, and she hasn't been wrong yet, so. ]

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

Really?

[ha ha ha]

Hey, you know what you did? You just proved to me you don't know what the hell you're talkin' about. So I am officially gonna stop listening to a word you say.

Okay? Okay, great. Thanks for that.

audio;

[hacker]

What?! Hey! What does that mean?!

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

[--Talking right over her, starting on her hey--]

NOT LISTENING, I'M NOT LISTENING--

audio; i almost accidentally banned you writing this tag. #skye'smentalstate

[hacker]

[ raising her voice steadily in order to taLK OVER HIM IN RETURN. ]

OH, COME ON!

audio; just butting in here

[retrofire]

Who's just a program now, bitch.

[ Said in a way that makes him sound like a very smug five year old, obviously. ]

audio;

[hacker]

... Wait, what? No way is Shylock here one of your alien pals.

audio; also almost bans you back oops

[rrrrangerrick]

What did you just call me?

audio; HOVER MENU, MAN

[hacker]

Earth thing. [ wait. she had to explain that. ] Are you kidding me? You're a freaking alien.

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

No I ain't! I'm me! And there ain't nothi--

[no, wait]

What the hell did Quill say?

audio;

[hacker]

That his name was Star Lord, for starters.

[ priorities. ]

audio;

[rrrrangerrick]

Star Lord? What the hell kinda a name is 'Star Lord'?

audio;

[hacker]

Are you new? There's not a whole lot of Ashleys and Mikes around.

audio; HOVER MENU SUBSCRIPTION when will i learn

[rrrrangerrick]

Okay, but he seriously introduced himself as Star Lord. Like, with a straight face and everything? And you didn't laugh?

[like he might laugh right now just thinking about it]

audio;

[retrofire]

Says the guy named Rocket.

[ LEAVE HIS DUMB NAME ALONE. ]

And I didn't say anything. She said you didn't exist.

audio;

[hacker]

I said aliens were probably programs. [ Don't be so dramatic, Quill. ]

audio;

[retrofire]

I'm not a program, either.

[ Theory fucked right there, man. ]