voice ||

[rrrrangerrick]

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Comments

voice.

[dissent]

I'd take that bet.

[ Despite how much he's enjoying having an argument, Anders' tone softens a fraction. ]

And if you're ever starving, or injured and without recourse, or need somewhere to stay, you can call me. Or come to the clinic on 33rd and ask for Anders. And I'll prove you wrong.

voice.

[rrrrangerrick]

Yeah? And then what?

voice.

[dissent]

And then you'd owe me however much we wager.

[ He's joking. Mostly. Or the joke is, that isn't altruistic after all, but even if there was no bet he'd still give himself away to someone in need, so it's probably only funny to him. ]

voice.

[rrrrangerrick]

[With bitter triumph:]

A-ha. See, winnin' a bet means you're still gettin' paid offa that. I frickin knew it.

voice.

[dissent]

It's not as though I'm against payment. But I'd do it without the bet. If you were really in need.

voice.

[rrrrangerrick]

Yeah, right.

If you really mean that, then congratulations: you're the biggest friggin' sucker of 'em all. And I'll send each and every one of these needy lazy freeloaders to you, so you can wipe their ass and give 'em a cup of soup. Okay? Sound good?

voice.

[dissent]

All right. Hang on.

[ He attaches the address of the medical clinic in text format s...omehow. ]

And if you get paid in anything medicinal that you're looking to trade on, consider dropping by.

voice.

[rrrrangerrick]

[wait what]

This... This is a real address. To a place that exists. I mean it, buddy, I was serious. I'm really gonna send people to you.

voice.

[dissent]

Good. Someone should help them, if they need help.

voice.

[rrrrangerrick]

Yeah, okay.

[In an undertone that's not very under:]

Ya sucker.