subsystem | voice ||

Look. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. But I'm only sayin' it once, and I'm gonna say it real slow, so all of you better clean the crap outta your ears and listen up.

I get that there ain't no money. Actual money. But what I'm sayin' is, if you ain't got nothin' to trade, why the hell would you go around wasting somebody's time.

Like, it's like common friggin' decency to bring with you what you got to trade. No, 'oh, whoops guess I left it at home', no, 'oh, it's in the pocket of my other crappy shapeless pants'-- gettin' it to me in a day ain't an option, I don't care if it's your laundry day, if you're waitin' for some big payoff, I don't care if you got twelve kids--that's your own damn fault--I don't care if you're fresh outta the tube. If you wanna buy something from someone? If you bring in your crappy little console, and you want it fixed up real quick so you can get your ass back to work, and you hustle me along and talk real big and then when it comes time to pay up, and you give me some sad sack story? [SLOWLY AND LOUDLY:] I don't work for free. Nobody here better be workin' for free, and if they are, congratulations, you found yourself a sucker. Charity is for suckers.

Okay? Are we clear? 'Cause the next idiot that comes to me askin' for a handout is gonna get it, and I don't mean free frickin' labor. [SIGH.] Jeez. It's like nobody got a brain. Workin' with a buncha stupid fleshy kids. Hardly even seems worth it...

[grumbling trails off into nothing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Yeah so few feelings, feelings are for suckers and they aren't suckers ok. Peter's getting more annoyed by the word, and by the time Rocket gets the video function working, his face is screwed up in preparation for some truly petty shouting.

But then the camera settles. On a face that's entirely devoid of, you know, fur and whiskers and stuff. ]

Oh, come on. You've got to be shitting me.

[ An attractive face, totally objectively speaking. Somehow that's even more annoying?? Or maybe that's just a weird thought to be registering, at all. He'll casually backtrack on it by pointing out— ] Your nose is huge.

What?

[Well goodbye to any feelings except irritation, and welcome back to more petty shouting... or just indignation for now, but shouting is sure to follow--]

It is not.

Like you have any idea how big people noses are supposed to be.

[ Because that make sense, of course. Not like Rocket's seen hundreds of people or been a people himself for like, months or whatever. Anyway, moving on from touching reunions and casually ignoring ~emotions~ in order to talk business: ]

Who screwed you over?

I know how big people's noses are supposed to be.

[Stubbornly refusing to end the argument gracefully thank you... but business is actually more important, and so is bitching about bad business, and Quill will understand in ways that other people seem incapable of understanding (??? what even) so--]

Hey, hey, tried. He tried to screw me over, but he totally friggin' failed, 'cause I ain't stupid. [but okay okay okay--] Okay--you'll love this. It was this guy. Agriculture. You shoulda seen this guy, it's like he crawled right outta a field. And you know what was even more insulting? I think he was born here. Total native. No excuse for not knowing that you don't just ask somebody to fix your crappy little what-- whatever, and then look at them all dumb when they ask for payment up front. I mean, you shoulda seen this guy! He's thinkin' I'm new, that I ain't gonna know any different--boy, was he wrong.

Are you sure? 'Cause you're used to the whole snout situation, so maybe your perspective's off, that's all I'm saying.

[ Super offensively saying. But it's true that Peter's probably one of the few people to get business and being totally screwed over by a supposed business partner. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he's good at staying on topic.

He's quiet for a second, eyes narrowed in consideration. ]

So you're still— you know.

[ YOU KNOW. Like that's clear, at all. ]

Would you stop with the-- yeah, I'm sure. I've spent my whole friggin' life lookin' at noses for comparison. Not to mention, all that time I spent lookin' at your big stupid nose. Gave me an in-tim-mate familiarity. I'M SURE.

[But once all that ranting is done, he can get on to

not understanding what is being asked. Blankly, he stares back.]

I'm still what. What does that mean.

Relax, man, I'm just saying— you're still, like. You know. The tech guy.

[ He sort of thought the tiny hands helped with the tech genius, to be totally honest. ]

['The tech guy'. Suspicious squint.]

Yeah... Yeah. That's me. The tech guy. [Shifty. Also with totally normal sized hands, thanks.] Guess that makes you the pilot guy, huh. Hovership?

[ ABOUT THAT.... ]

The ship's a work in progress.

[ Preemptively defensive, and he rolls right past that small detail very quickly. ] But yeah, of course I'm still the pilot guy. Why the hell wouldn't I be the pilot guy?

[ He asks, like he isn't the one who started this weird line of questioning. ]

Maybe you wouldn't be the pilot guy 'cause you... ain't got a ship?

[blankly like]

The one thing you really really need to be the pilot guy is a thing to pilot. What the hell do you mean, it's a work in progress? You got one you're gonna get? Tomorrow? Three weeks? What are we talkin' here, Quill.

No, the one thing you really really need to be a pilot is the skills to pilot a ship, and I've got those. The ship's coming. I've got fifty ships lined up, but I'm not gonna settle for the first tin can that comes along.

[ More like: he really misses the Milano, a lot. You can't replace true love. ]

Fifty ships and you couldn't find one good one?

[But okay, fair point and fair point to the bracket text, too. These are standards/emotions that he understands.]

Or decent. Even decent, then you take it home, fix it up yourself. Just-- nothin'? So what the hell you been doin' with yourself while you're takin' your sweet time?