text.

[axeyou]

So if you're talking about the newly unplugged, do you say "floppy baby" or "noodle"?

Personally I like floppy baby. It's way more universal.




And to all you newborn floppy noodle babies out there: hi and welcome.

Comments

text;

[servomotor]

FLOPPY BABY

APPARENTLY ALREADY SANK INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS A SHORT WHILE AGO

WHEN DID YOU PUT IT INTO CIRCULATION?

SHOULD I BE CONCERNED I'M STILL IN THE MATRIX

[alsohawkeye]

You should be concerned that your capslock key is broken.

[servomotor]

NO I'M GOOD THANKS

[alsohawkeye]

Seriously? What, did Jarvis do all the actual typing for you before?

[servomotor]

THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I HAVE EVER HEARD

JARVIS DIDN'T HAVE FINGERS

[(HOW DO YOU KNOW JARVIS?!?//)]

[alsohawkeye]

Fine, Pepper, then. There is no way that Pepper put up with you texting like this forever. No one could have put up with it, I can't believe that.

[servomotor]

[This answer takes a long time, like maybe 45 seconds or more.]

HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT PEPPER?

[He thinks it's because they're (Hella) famous but he's taking the moment seriously enough that this isn't a theory he immediately volunteers.]

[alsohawkeye]

Stop capsing at me like someone's grandfather and I'll tell you.

[servomotor]

NO DICE THE CAPS STAY

ASK FOR SOMETHING ELSE

[alsohawkeye]

Nah.

[axeyou]

Be nice to him. He voted for my side. If he wants to yell at you he's allowed.

[ex_spins462]

My theory is an over-reliance on autocorrect.

[alsohawkeye]

Like secretly Tony Stark doesn't know which words to capitalize so he just does them all? I'd be happy to believe that.

[hacker]

My vote's social experiment. Testing how many people he can piss off for the sake of it and how they respond. Like poking a bear, but with a safe pixelated buffer.

[ex_spins462]

Stark doesn't need to run an experiment to enjoy pissing people off.

[hacker]

Character flaw, then.

text;

[axeyou]

Good. I like you. I like you so much I'm not going to string you along with that theory like I could.

Don't be concerned. Just be happy that you're on the better side.

[servomotor]

YES EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER ON THIS SIDE.

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT TOO. YOU SEEM MAD ALL THE TIME WITHOUT EVEN USING ANY DEVIANT CAPITALIZATION.

[axeyou]

Aww, thanks. No one's ever said that to my face before. Just behind my back.

Want lessons?

[servomotor]

OK

WHAT'S LESSON #1

[axeyou]

Lesson 1 is: actually be mad all the time.

[servomotor]

ALL THE TIME?

[but what if you're just a slightly panicky slightly old mechanic]

[axeyou]

[practice, practice, practice]

All the time.

Don't think you're up for it?

[servomotor]

DO YOU DUAL-TASK ANGER AND OTHER EMOTIONS

E.G., WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER BEER-BAKED CORN ON THE COB OR DAT ASS

[axeyou]

Nope, still mostly angry.

Especially with asses. That gets some great results.