[01] TEXT; unlocked

[servomotor]

HELLO THIS IS TONY STARK. I AM A MECHANIC

[----- THE CLASSIFIEDS -----]
SEEKING CANDIDATES FOR THE FOLLOWING 2 POSITIONS OF EMPLOY:

• ASSISTANT MECHANIC (ENGLISH-SPEAKER, UNDERSTANDS MACHINE TERMINOLOGY, STEADY HANDS, NO ORIGINAL IDEAS)
  
• PROGRAMMER (ENGLISH-SPEAKER, ANY CODE LANGUAGE, RUDIMENTARY KNOWLEDGE OF APPROPRIATIVE KANJI PREFERRED)

HOURS: 10-15/WEEK

SALARY/MONTH: 4 BREAD (WHAT'S THE UNLEAVENED EQUIVALENT OF LOAVES? THAT, DISTRIBUTED 1/WEEK IN THE INTEREST OF AVOIDING MOLD), 1 GALLON BEER, 1 COTTON GARMENT, A PRICELESS TROVE OF TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE, THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE ZION FOR THE BETTER (THE BAR IS SO HIGH); 3 MONTH BONUS (YOUR OWN STOVE, 2 BURNER, FUEL NOT PROVIDED) (YOU WILL BUILD IT YOURSELF OUT OF PARTS PROVIDED BY MYSELF AND EYEBROWS PROVIDED BY YOU). NEGOTIABLE.

OTHER NOTES: 1 MONTH PROBATION AND BASIC SKILL EVALUATION * SPIES (RUSSIAN ETC) NEED NOT APPLY. NOTHING SUBVERSIVE IS HAPPENING HERE AND I KNOW TO LOOK OUT FOR REFLEXIVE KARATE LEGS NOW. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

OOC Note: Charles Snippy is going to be Mechanic, pre-established, but if you'd like to play thru competing for the job or apply for the other feel free.

[----- DECLASSIFIED -----]
GUESS WHICH 12 PARLIAMENTARY OVERLORDS ARE CURRENTLY DEADLOCKED IN CHAMBERS ON A VOTE FOR NEXT ACTION ON THE 4 LOST HOVERCRAFT

GUESS WHO THE TIEBREAKER ISN'T

YOU. BECAUSE FASCISM.

OOC Note: This is for the Return to Harbour plot. You can request NPCs here or by PMing the mod account. The mods will help coordinate if needed.

Comments

text;

[righteously]

You had me at beer.
Did some auto mechanic work & welding back home. What kinda job are we talking here?

[ And... on a less job-he's-not-gonna-get note, that declassified section ain't exactly inspiring a buttload of confidence in the system. ]

Not that I give a crap about politics or what they do over missing bumper cars, but if this place really is facist it might not be the smartest idea to hop on here pointing it out where they can see you.
Just throwing it out there before they shove a little black bag over your head and pelt you with chicken paste or whatever their version of corporal punishment is here.

o let me fonts

[servomotor]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR APPLICATION. THE JOB IS TO HOLD STUFF AND PUT STUFF WHERE I TELL YOU. NONE OF THE STUFF WOULD OFFEND HETERONORMATIVE VALUES.


THANK YOU ALSO FOR YOUR CONCERN. FORTUNATELY I HAVE THEIR SYSTEMIC INEFFICIENCY ON MY SIDE. I WOULD LOVE SOME CHICKEN THOUGH. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU HAD CHICKEN?

ooh my those fonts

[righteously]

right. glad we're on the same page
that's what I look for in a job
heteronormative values and bread

[ ...w...hat? ]

we talking actual fried or chicken flavored goo?
6 weeks and 6 minutes respectively

[servomotor]

I HOPE WE'RE BOTH TALKING STRICTLY ABOUT PRACTICING SAFE MECHANICS. AND BREAD. HETERONORMATIVITY IS NOT REAL.


IS THE GOO REALLY FLAVORED LIKE CHICKEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW THEY DID THAT

[righteously]

I gotta be honest here i'm not even 100% sure we're saying actual words right now, so I'm gonna go with yes just because it seems like the right answer.

I'm thinking it's not so much magical culinary prowess, more like everything tastes like chicken so they just call it chicken flavored and pretend like it's not a total bullshit coincidence

also man, I gotta take a second here and point out that there's a button on your keyboard that controls your caps locks and I'm getting the vibe you rammed it permanently into submission

[servomotor]

YES. DO NOT APPLY RODE HARD AND PUT AWAY WET TO YOUR TYPOGRAPHICAL DEVICES.

YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THE CHICKEN. WHAT OTHER WORK WILL YOU BE DOING? HOW FLEXIBLE IS YOUR SCHEDULE?

[righteously]

How about we just jump right past that whole thing and leave my sex life firmly off the table. Unless you want me to put your friggin stove together with the family jewels, I don't think it matters.

I've got a manicure scheduled for three but beyond that
jack squat.

[servomotor]

GOOD DEAL. I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

[righteously]

awesome.